Friday, October 31, 2008

Where can I get it????


I need to find the supplier of this water…. LOL

It’s probably been sold in dark alley’s around the world. Or are women cutting off their left pinky finger for it???……. Because there are so many BFPs popping up all over the place, the secret has to be in the water, right??!!!! I’m going to start requesting pics of hands before I see pics of BFPs!!!

I just need a few bottles, I’m not even going to use it for myself. I’m going to give it as Christmas presents to my TTC friends. PROMISE!!!

Ok, and before some of you go googling for kirkland fertility water, the pic is a fake.... I photobucketed it, just some humour for a Friday.

happy halloween Pictures, Images and Photos

To all celebrating!!! :)

Thursday, October 30, 2008

I’m not perfect.......
But parts of me are pretty awesome.

So which parts you ask…. Well to name a few….

My mommy part:

I am an awesome mother. Yes, there are times where I fail but which mother doesn’t. My child is happy and loved to heaven and back. Isn’t that the most important thing? I’ve brought up the most adorable girlie. She is my biggest achievement in life.

My wife part:

I believe I’m an awesome wife. Maybe a bit bossy, but overall a good wife. I’ve stood beside and believed in him. And even though I get tested now and then, there is no denying you won’t find a better wife than me for my DH.

My sister part:

This is a tough one, because some times I suck as a sister but not without good reason. I try my best! And I do worry about what you are doing or not doing.

My daughter part:

I’m the sensitive daughter. I take on a lot of the emotions, and try to be brave. When my parents hurt, I hurt. When they are sad, I’m sad. When they are happy, I’m overjoyed. Hey, and I gave them a beautiful Grand daughter, so already there I score big points in this department.

My friend part:

I will go to the ends of the earth to make sure you are happy!!! I don’t think you will find a more supportive person than me. Day or night, I think I’m an awesome friend to have!!!

It feels weird writing things about myself in this manner, yes the 100 things in a previous post are also about me. But this is different. I need to get used to seeing the wonderful things about me and then admitting to it. Going to take some getting used to….. so….

I’m going to change the subject now….. (still about me though)…. I’m 8dpo today. And even though I know there is absolutely no chance what so ever that we could be PG at this moment. It’s still nice to hang onto hope….. (yip, there is that word again.) So much for not knowing where I am in my cycle hey.... old habits die hard, ok???

Wednesday, October 29, 2008


Definition of hope

Hope is a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life. Hope implies a certain amount of perseverance — i.e., believing that a positive outcome is possible even when there is some evidence to the contrary.

This post is for my friend, H…


What I hope for is happy.
What I hope for is love.
What I hope for is peace.
What I hope for is that hope itself is not lost.
Many people give upon hope,
Never going for more.
Never putting it on line and hope that everything will alright.
Hope is that what make sorrow go away.
Hope is kingdom were build on it,
Hope that greatness would come pass.
What I hope for is happy
I hope for is love
I hope for a life of peace
I hope that hope itself never gets lost.

By Jody Johnson

Another friend (D) reminded me this morning (yeah, I have loads of friends) that God has already laid out the plan of how things must work out. You just have to grin and bare the wait.

I guess we just have to HOPE that it works out the way we want it too.

I’m praying for you my friend, I pray that HOPE turns into a reality!!!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

I would die for that....

I was going through some forum chats this morning. Just lurking around and came across a You Tube video……. Needless to say I was in tears mid way.

I dedicate this to my very good friends M&H, and of course my TTC friends who have over come the struggle and those that are still faced with it…..

Monday, October 27, 2008

Can't keep my eyes open

And it’s Monday morning 8:05am, I’m so ready to climb back into bed and sleep for another few hours.

What a weekend!!!

Friday night we had some drinks with M&H. Although we did have an early night, since we knew Saturday was going to be hectic.

Saturday morning we had McK’s Pre-School Awards morning. It was so cute. I had to fight back the tears for an hour. Don’t have a clue why I was so emotional about the whole event. McK was an Angel in the nativity play. Such a sweety, she played her part in all cuteness, (well post photos later). I was just worried that she might pick her nose on stage, but she didn’t. McK also got given a Book Prize for “Co-operation”. I was so proud!!

Saturday afternoon, we couldn’t get to M&H’s house fast enough. Left McK with granny and off we were for our “Music in the Park” picnic. We tried to stay positive about the approaching grey thundering clouds….. but unfortunately the rain came pouring down as we got to the venue. We grabbed our picnic baskets and everyone headed into the building for the picnic instead.

After an hour the rain calmed down to a cool drizzle. We managed to find a nice spot right in front of the stage. Two of the bands finished their sets. Electric Muse, they are a 4 part (all female) band. It was awesome. Then Afro Jazz took the stage. We were all waiting patiently for Prime Circle to start. Of course we all rushed to the front of the stage when they did.

Not even into the second song, the rain came belting down again. We were soaked. But determined to stand there and dance and sing. Unfortunately they had to cut it short after just the third song. Their equipment was already under water. It was wonderful….. and cold……

Sunday I spent the day playing with McK while DH worked. She found some of my old HPTs…. (yes, it takes me a while to throw them away.) And her inquisitive mind asked me what they are used for. So without going into too much detail I quickly explained the one line (no baby) two lines (baby) story to her. And then she said, maybe you will get two lines soon….. bless her heart. Imagine the story she is telling her Preschool friends today……..

Thursday, October 23, 2008

So I’m going through my sister’s cupboard to find an outfit for Saturday eve. We have been invited to attend a work function of my friends. It’s a picnic with Prime Circle.

Only difference between me and my sis… well she’s a 24 year old Rock star, and I’m a 28 year old mommy….. with a bit of pizzazz….. Must say I’m quite impressed that half of the stuff actually fits. But the real sexy stuff is a tad too small. And I don’t think DH would let me go out in it…. LOL

I’m just hoping the weather plays along for Sat. We have McK’s award function at school on Sat morning and then the picnic late afternoon/early eve. My friend says if it rains, then we dance in the rain…. Note to self, don’t wear white!!!!

I cheated and looked what CD I’m was on yesterday…… weird though, cause I would never have guessed I was right smack bang on O date. But without any signs of O… do you think because I put TTC out of my mind my body decided to hell with you, you just wont O then??? LOL

Anyway, I don’t really have anything else interesting to say…….

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Life is too short to wake up with regrets.
So love the people who treat you right.
Forget about the ones who don't.
Believe everything happens for a reason.
If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands.
If it changes your life, let it.
Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.
Wise words that I received today. :)

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Your energy today is perfect for physical exercise of any kind, from walking an extra block to running a marathon. Don't overdo it, of course, but expect a little boost just when you need it most.

And would you believe I actually got on the treadmill again this morning. And in a much better mood than yesterday. (I didn't blog yesterday, for the simple reason that it would just have been a down right negative depressing post.)

Then just as I got off the treadmill, I received a very cool phone call. One of my friends is PG. She got her BFP this morning, and confirmed it with positive bloods!! YAY!! It's so awesome. I knew it would happen for you girl! Now you get that almost still winter maternity leave!!!! :) You lucky fish!

It's also my brothers birthday today. 20 years old. My parents no longer have any teenagers living under their roof. LOL

Friday, October 17, 2008


Yes this is my 100th post as a blogger. I noticed some fellow bloggers do something special. So I’ve stolen this idea….

Here are 100 things about me which you may already know or not. In no particular order:

1 I have 4 tattoo's
2 I have a nose ring
3 I have a fear of frogs
4 I hate telephones
5 My favourite colour is Blue
6 My favourite alcoholic drink is Amstel
7 Although white wine comes a close second
8 I smoke the odd cig now and then
9 I have 2 brothers
10 I have 1 sister
11 I'm the oldest child
12 I cry easily
13 I love reading blogs
14 I love my SOP girls and my Lucky Ladies!!
15 I love my Mommy friends too
16 I have been married for almost 6 years
17 I have blue eyes
18 I have short blonde hi lighted hair
19 I'm about 173cm tall
20 I wear my slippers most of the day
21 I work from home
22 I hate driving
23 I have 2 best friends, Mathi and Hanlie which I share everything with
24 I got engaged the day before my 21st Birthday
25 Got married the day before my DH's birthday
26 I knew my DH 3 weeks before we moved in together
27 and 4 months before we got engaged
28 I love the rain, but not for days on end. A good shower is lovely.
29 I miss peanut butter cups
30 I did au pair work in Maryland, USA for a year
31 I've been to Disney World
32 I've also been to 26 of the 50 States in the USA
33 My favourite band of all time is "Texas"
34 Favourite song of all time is "In demand" by Texas
35 I've had the hardest year of my life this year so far
36 I'm blessed with the most awesome daughter!!!
37 I'm not a dog or cat person
38 I'm a fish person, we have a tank filled with Malawi Fish.
39 I want my best friends to become parents one day
40 My favourite ice cream is anything vanilla
41 I love Strawberry Milkshakes
42 I want another baby
43 I never used to leave the house without make up, these days (months) I could care less
44 I wish I had a cupboard full of lingerie
45 I prefer hotels to camping
46 I love reading books
47 I'm trying real hard to write my own book
48 I once used "recreational" drugs, many many years ago.
49 I stole my DH from his girlfriend at the time :)
50 I'm addicted to HPT/OPKs
51 My favourite show at the moment is Army Wives
52 I hate shaving my legs
53 I love perfume, really wish I could afford more/different types
54 I refuse to pick up dog poo
55 I love making McK laugh
56 I love my DH, even though he messes up from time to time
57 I used to bite my nails
58 I love sleeping late on the weekends
59 I'm grateful my DH lets me sleep late on the weekends :)
60 I used to be a Coke addict….. Coke a cola that is….. Not the white stuff silly
61 I still kiss my dad good night
62 My original engagement and wedding ring was stolen :(
63 I want to live on a tropical island
64 I can't do a hand stand
65 I struggle to swallow big tablets/pills
66 I would like to think I'm very creative
67 I usually (almost always) want things done my way
68 I hate confrontation
69 I'm afraid of what people think of me
70 I wish I could be a photographer, and take awesome pics.
71 I seldom go to the shops alone, someone has to be with me.
72 I don't eat seafood, except for Calamari
73 My favourite day of the year is 31 December!
74 I hate celebrating my birthday
75 I wish I was more brave
76 I have the weirdest dreams ever, no one can beat mine
77 My favourite Author is Nora Roberts and Marian Keys
78 I hate it when those popcorn bits get stuck at the back of my throat
79 My cousin and sister say I have no tact, I don't believe them
80 I hate Christmas beetles, you know those brown beetles that always end up in your hair?
81 I wish I had R10 for every time someone told me to "relax it will happen".
82 I love watching Make Over shows, whether it's houses or people, I always cry at the reveal
83 I hate doing dishes!!! I detest it, but will if I absolutely have to…..
84 I don't have much patience with anything
85 I hate unfriendly service, especially at the grocery store!!
86 I get jealous over other peoples BFPs
87 I have my own business, Making Babies.
88 Geography was my best subject at school
89 And I sucked at Maths
90 I love candy floss/cotton candy
91 I can't wait for the day to end, then I can go pick my angel up from school
92 I have a best friend who I have never met in person, only via the internet. Who strangely enough lives a street away from my Uncle!
93 I love my Dad's home made hamburgers!!
94 I eat my steak med to rare
95 No matter how much I love my pet Fish, I will NOT put my hand in their water/tank…. GROSS
96 I've only recently, like the last 2 weeks, started making our bed every morning. Before that, WTH who makes beds up???
97 I hate thinking of the "what if's" I can drive myself crazy. .
98 I’m hoping that by the end of the year, all our debt will be paid off.
99 I would love to receive more comments on my blog, even if it's just a hello. I know how many people read every day… would just like to know who??
100 And finally, I am thankful that each day I get to help someone whether it's just a shoulder to cry on or to take their frustrations out on.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

I'm feeling lost.....

Lost in everything and in any possible way. I don’t know what it is or how to describe it.

I’m feeling sorry for myself too. Why can’t it be me????? Why can’t it be me for so many different reasons….BLAH, it’s not fair…… I know I shouldn’t be PG right now, it wouldn’t work right now…. But then again, so many other people that shouldn’t be right now, ARE!!!! What makes me different….. BLAH…..

Also I’m having withdrawal symptoms from not seeing our best friends. It’s not normal to go 6 days without seeing them, or speaking to them over the phone/email/msn. It’s hard. It feels as if I’m missing my left arm or something. Why do people have to be busy?? That isn’t a good enough excuse!!!!! LOL Ok, I’m being selfish. But I miss them. And you are all going, “come on it’s only been 6 days????” Just shows you how much we love them and need them to be a part of our everyday lives. Please let Monday come soon!!!!!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Update of Mck’s Skin

In case anyone was wondering……

I started bathing her in Tea Tree Oil last week, and using Sudacrem cream on her legs/arms. What a difference it has made. Plus I started giving her an Antihistamine yesterday which will help with the itching. It also has a “sedative” effect, says so on the bottle. Guess who got a good nights sleep last night????? ;-)

You know summer isn’t even here and it’s already so hot. Does anyone know of a rain dance we could do?? Come on Kelley, send your girls over here. I’m sure they can help???? I’m sure they would love a trip to Africa!

Oh and today is finally Wednesday, Hump day…. Not that there is any humping going on here. LOL

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

You feel the urge to go for some new big goal -- and should find that it's closer to your grasp than you would have thought! You can achieve far more than anyone realizes when you focus your ambition.

And I do have a new goal!!! I want to loose 6kg. It’s not a lot, but it’s a start. Once I’ve lost those 6, then we will work on the next 5kg. This is something I really need to do for myself. I need to put as much effort into losing weight as I did into TTC.

I know I can do this!

Monday, October 13, 2008

Only 12 Mondays left.....

Of 2008.

Scary stuff.

I had the weirdest day yesterday. Felt completely at ease. I sat watching McK playing and smiling and laughing. And I thought, it’s ok. I’m ok with having just McK in my life. I’m the luckiest person in the entire world to be blessed with this angel. She makes me smile and laugh and fills my heart, body and soul with so much love. Do I really need to have another child? When the one I have is so perfect? It’s almost as if the desperation to have another one just left my body, and I’m ok.

I even said to McK that I'm so happy to have her, and just her. She turned around and said to me "yes, but I need a brother and a sister." Maybe one day my darling......

This doesn’t mean we aren’t going to TTC any more. I would love to have another baby. But for now, I’m at peace with sharing my life with my angel pie. I need to focus on her for a bit.

Does this make any sense at all???

On Making Babies news:

The Making Babies Social Network is running an October competition. The winner will get a Pack of 5 HPTs. You will just need to register.

Friday, October 10, 2008

A full year of hard work has helped you to achieve a personally fulfilling goal. Chances are good that you're surrounded by fans and media now, but as soon as you can fit it in, start thinking about a title for the how-to book you'll feel eminently qualified to pen.

No ways…. :)

Would you believe I’ve been nagged to write a book now for quite some time now. Maybe I should attempt it??

My grandfather just published his book, and apparently there are 2 more on the way. I read Canaan North in 3 days. Wow, was I impressed. Never did it cross my mind that my grandfather would be so good at writing. I really enjoyed the book, although the “love scenes” freaked me out a bit, I mean hello this is my Grandfather’s imagination running wild here……

I’ve been really domesticated this week. Cooking dinner every night, getting my mothers dogs sorted out and happy. Doing dishes, yes me, I did freaking dishes…… I’m actually going to attempt to do housework today too. You know sweep and mop floors. **GASP** It’s a bugger being alone at home. You end up doing all these crazy things during the day just to pass the time.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

The Red Witch......

Yes, she flew in at 5:52am this morning……..

At least I know the supplements I’m taking are working. They are supposed to give you a perfect cycle. 28 days, O on CD14, 14 day LP…. I got all that. But they promised me a BFP too…..

And yes I’m still keeping quiet about what supplements I’m on. Since I’m not going to share it with anyone and then they go and get a BFP. I want to be the first BFP, then I’ll share…. Selfish? No I don’t think so. I want to keep something TTC related to myself. I’m always sharing and helping where I can. So just this one thing, I want all to myself….. for now…..

McK had a much better start to her day today. No screaming or crying. Shame, I think yesterday she was just a bit emotional.

I need to seriously do some work today, since I’ve been slacking off the last two days. But I just can’t get cracking. I’ll rather walk up and down the passage, stare out the windows, maybe attempt the kitchen…. Work just doesn’t feel right today. Wonder if there are any good movies on????

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Not the best start to the morning

Everything was going just fine. We were all up at 5:30am. Even McK was chirpier than the birds outside. But then at 7:15am, my child changed into a Pro Wrestler…….

It started as we were walking out the door, on our way to school. The tears started falling, the screaming started, and she clung to my neck for dear life. Then I had to try and get her in the car. Some smart maneuvering from mommy and she was in, safety buckled and everything… turn my back and she is out. Not just out of her safety belt. But out of the car!!! She ran to the garage door and grabbed the handle. Would you believe it took me, a grown 28 year old woman, a good 7 minutes to get a 4 year old’s hands loose from the door knob.

And where was daddy during this….. Sitting in the car watching………

More clinging and grabbing and screaming. Back in her safety belt. I could hear her shouting to daddy saying “I want to talk to mommy”. I dared not open the door because I knew she would bolt. Instead daddy opened the window just slightly so that I could hear.

I looked at her face, she looked at me. I started sobbing, she started sobbing. I opened the door, gave her a big hug. She sobbed some more, I sobbed some more. Promised her I would pick her up from school in 10 minutes.

I sobbed all the way back into the house, she sobbed all the way to school. Worst is, she thinks I’m picking her up in 10 minutes and that was an hour and a half ago.

No one said parenting was going to be easy………………

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

All by myself
Don't wanna be

All by myself

I’m all alone this week…. I don’t do “alone” very well. This house is empty, this office is empty. It’s horrible and I’ve only been “alone” for about an hour now. How am I going to make it through till Friday? Yes, DH is here but he is at work till 6pm everyday. I pick McK up at 4pm. But still this office/house is dead quiet.

My parents, brother and sister have gone diving in Mozambique. Nice island style holiday, and here I sit in front of the PC. I’m going to attempt to do some work. But will most likely spend most of the day sorting things out. Maybe do some personal filing. Maybe just lie next to the pool all day…. LOL

Monday, October 6, 2008

We had such a great weekend. Especially yesterday. We decided in the end not to go to the Sexpo. Instead, we went over to our friends for a BBQ. Which ended up back at our place, in the swimming pool. Now it might be hot already weather wise, but it certainly isn’t swimming weather yet. I guess those few beers really do make you brave. If McK joined in and shivered her way through a game of Water volley ball.

School started back up again today. The 4th term, (and final term of the year). McK did not want to go this morning, so I had to bribe her with another swim session for when she gets home. I’m just not so sure that I’ll be joining her though. I’ll sit on the side and just watch.

My child’s skin is terrible again. I don’t know what to do about her eczema. Poor thing is scratching like mad, and when I do put normal (well actually any) aqueous cream on her, it burns her. I’ve tried the medicated creams too, but nothing wants to ease the itching or the red inflamed patches. I feel so sorry for her. Anyone have any advice?????

I’m nearing the end of Cycle 31. I thought I saw some spotting early this morning. But not really much, just when I went to the loo. It’s gone now, or should I say it will be back just now when I start getting a little excited about not having it. Especially since I’m 12dpo already. Even though I know there is very little chance of a BFP, my inner TTC Diva still holds on to that hope of a miracle. I’ve contemplated testing yesterday morning, and today. But I resisted both times. Even after Peeing in a cup. I stopped every time before ripping off the wrapper and dipping the test. I quietly told myself to stop, and throw the p out….. this way I haven’t wasted 2 tests. I need a gold star!!!!

I just noticed my ticker..... it says 1 day till testing LOL

Friday, October 3, 2008

That hint of irritability you're feeling doesn't have to take over your entire day -- but it might, if you don't get rid of it. How? Exercise, darling, exercise. You'll work out your frustrations and do something special for the person who shares your life -- and the effects of your moods.

How true, except I don’t like the “exercise” part. It’s Friday, you aren’t supposed to exercise on a Friday.

Today is going to be an awesome day, I’m going to try and make it an awesome day. Not going to let anything stand in my way. Isn’t that a line from a song??

We have no real plans for the weekend. Although we are considering going to SEXPO on Sunday. I keep changing my mind about going. I also keep hearing conflicting opinions from people/friends that went yesterday. I guess we will just play it by ear.

I should be about 9dpo today. And even though I did end up testing late yesterday afternoon (BFN), but only because of peer pressure…. You know who you are… I’m really not convinced like other friends that we could actually have a BFP cycle. I mean hello, for the last 2 and a bit years, we have been timing BD to a tee. Why the one cycle where we avoid O date, would we get a BFP. Yeah I know the whole fertile window thing, and so what if we BD 2 days before and the day after O. Why on earth would that make any difference. Besides we weren’t actively TTC this month. I might even consider taking a break next cycle too. It’s been lovely not obsessing too much.

And with that said, I will report one IPS(imaginary pregnancy syndrome). For the last 3 days it feels like my uterus is stretching. I’ve never felt this before, but it’s weird. It’s like a pulling and tugging feeling, and some cramps. This is the last I talk about IPS.

It’s now time to go take that jog around the block…….

Thursday, October 2, 2008

I’ve started this blog post 4 times today…. And each time I read through it, I just know I’m going to piss someone off…. So maybe it’s better left unsaid. So back space and say:

I hope the day I get my BFP, (when ever that may be) that I don’t forget my TTC struggle, that I don’t forget my friends are still struggling. That I listen when they say, “please enough with the PG talk”. That I don’t get offended. Because not so long ago, we were all in the TTC boat. Some are just luckier than others, that they got to move on up to the PG Cruise liner. And it’s ok, because I know there is a seat for me. I’m just taking my sweet ass time getting there.

Hell, the last few posts have sure been “doom and gloom” posts hey. Don’t worry my meds will kick in soon, and I’ll start talking about Candy Sugar Mountain……. :)