I've been reading MckMamma's blog ~ My charming kids for quite some time now and I've always been amazed by her way of words and thinking. I do ask that you visit her blog by clicking on the pic below. Her son Stellan needs all the prayers he can, and so does Mamma......
But what got me thinking is her words:
God answers prayers. Just not always in the way or in the time frame we want. God answers prayers, but the outcome we hope for, and beseech God for, is not always the outcome God has in mind.
God hears our prayers. But God still does what He, in His sovereignty, is going to do. He listens to our prayers, hears us each and every time we speak to Him, think to Him, or even groan to Him. God is affected by our prayers and He wants us to pray.
But God is still God and our prayers do not change God or His mind, at least not in the way we sometimes think. He knew we were going to pray before we ever prayed. He knows the past, present and future all at once. He listens to our prayers, but our prayers don't change things. God changes things.
Please see her blog for the rest of the post
Now I'm going to apply this way of thinking to my own situation.
A) If God has already decided that we are not going to have another child now or ever, will it help praying 100 times a day if He has already decided.
B) Or He knows I will be praying and ask everyone else around me to pray, and therefore planned that we will conceive again due to prayer. Because that is the way He has planned it.
Am I making any sense? In my mind I have it figured out already, but I seem to battle to put it into words.
So it's actually totally out of my control. God has already decided whether it's plan A) or plan B).... it's already written out in the big book...........
What do I do? Just lie back and let it work itself out. Or according to the big book I'm supposed to do everything possible to conceive. Even if it includes standing on my head for 7 hours after BD?????
I don't know any more.......
Going to the new Doc?? Is it all a waste of time???? Going for a LAP??? Is it a waste of time?? Crying after a failed cycle?? Is it a waste of time??
Then again, deep down inside I believe that God hasn't decided that we will never have another child. He is just taking his sweet @ss time about it.... Which is ok by me. Really....