Today....

Is just giving me one hell of a headache.

Remember the money we are supposed to be getting from the Tax man. Well they sent it to DH’s old bank account. Which we found out has been closed. So now we need to open a new account. Or get DH signing rights on my account. (We have been using my account as a “joint” account for quite some time now anyway). But would you believe his ID has gone missing. We only have a copy of it.

The lady at the bank won’t accept the copy which I understand completely. So we need to get the copy certified by the police. But in order to have something certified as a copy, you need to have the original. The bank lady keeps telling us, go to the police get it certified…. Yes I understand but… then she says “they will certify it with the original”… HELLO??? If we had the original ID why would we want to get the copy certified. But in any case. We had to get an affidavit that declares the Original has been “stolen” and blah blah.. So we now have documents stating that. Hopefully the bank will accept that and just reopen DH’s account.

The Making Babies website is also down. I’m so frustrated. I think there is a problem with the server. We have been trying all morning to get hold of our hosting company. I hate it when a site is down. It doesn’t look good. So hopefully it will be up and running soon. It better….

I can not believe its 31 July today. The year is going by way too fast for my liking. Winter is almost done, YAY another month until Spring. Hey maybe we will get a Spring BFP…. Wouldn’t that be cool….

What a good week...

So far….. :-)

We got a nice little surprise this morning from the Tax man. He is actually refunding us. YAY!! Ok, it’s not thousands…. But it will be nice spending money for our weekend away. (8-10 August)….

Most importantly…… And by the sure Grace of God…. I’m thrilled to announce that my dear friend H is PREGNANT!!! Yes, H if you are reading this…. YOU MY FRIEND ARE PREGNANT!!! You are freaking at long last PREGNANT….. I’ve been bouncing off the walls since Monday’s first BFP and now with the second beta result in… I’m smiling even bigger!! I can only begin to imagine what you are feeling. Wishing you everything of the best hun. You and your precious beanie!!

My star sign today....

You find that your life has become ten times easier, seemingly overnight! It's a great day to try new things and to tackle projects that you used to think might be too much for you on your own.

Ok yes, my life will be 10 times easier within the next month. I can’t wait!!! How lovely it’s going to be to have an “easier” life. With minimized stress. Feels too good to be true.

Not sure what new things I’m supposed to do today. But I did go jogging with my sister this morning. I never wanted to do it alone, so now that I’m doing it with her. Maybe that is the “too much for you on your own”… We’ll see….

I don’t pay much attention to star signs, but do like them when they count in my favour.

I had my faith restored in TTC today. : )

Hello readers....

I noticed yesterday I had 36 visitors to my blog. Anyone want to say hello??? Leave me a comment, would love to know who is reading my blog…..

Our “Making Babies Social Network” is growing, slowly but it’s growing. If you would like to join, please send me an email marcellem@makingbabies.co.za

DH and I are still on our high from yesterday. He went this morning and signed contracts with the new company. YAY!! And worked out the salary structure and all that jazz. I can finally stop stressing and start giving 100% attention to Making Babies.. (hahaha, I mean both Making Babies the business and Making Babies for ourselves…..)

Even Greater NEWS!!

DH got the job. He got the freaking JOB!! I can’t even begin to explain how absolutely thrilled I am!!


Here are some pics from our get away, I can’t seem to get them resized correctly without blurring them. Sorry but these will just have to do…..

Making a fire (BBQ/Braai)


DH just relaxing


Playing Putt Putt (Miniature Golf)


DH and McK Swimming


DH and McK on the golf course

BREAKING NEWS

I would like to introduce you to the "Making Babies Social Community Network."



My father convinced me to create this Network. It works pretty much on the same principle as Face Book. You have your own profile and can interact with other TTC members. Members are either waiting to TTC or officially on the TTC train. I think it can grow into a community full of support and advice. What I like about it, is that only members can see your profile/info. You have to be a registered member in order to view the site.

Please click here to join.

Hello there...

Sorry I left you hanging. Lets get the nasty stuff out of the way first. AF came in full force on Monday. Luckily I was kept so busy the last two days I haven’t even really thought about it.
We went away for 2 days with the in laws. Will post some pics later. Had a lovely time, it was a nice distraction from real life.
At the moment we have decided to take a Medicated/Surgery break from TTC. So it’s going to be all natural TTC until September, maybe even January. I’m supposed to go for a LAP now, but in all honesty I’m just not up to it right now. I know everyone is saying if you go for it now and there are problems you can get it sorted out sooner than waiting for January. I might even go in September. We will just see how it all pans out.
There are a few things that need to be sorted out before we take that next step. Hopefully DH will hear about the new job today. And there are a few medical aid issues that I need to get sorted out as well.
Anyway, I have loads of work to catch up on. Shame, my dad took over running Making Babies the last two days. He did such a good job. Thanks DAD!!!!
Will be back later with pics!!

Up and Up!

That is what my temps are doing. Half of me wants to be really excited and over confident that this might be it… the other half agrees that this is just a cruel joke my body is trying to pull on me. It’s a tug of war between the halves today.

I’m getting so much positive support from everyone, it’s hard. I don’t know who will be more disappointed if AF arrives. Me or them?

We will just have to think happy thoughts. Yes I have been testing, and yes those tests are stark white. No lines even starting to creep up. But I’m going with the fact that maybe it is just too early. Or maybe I’m just not PG. See tug of war again.

DH has his second call back interview today. I’m crossing everything I can. Please let him get the job!!! PLEASE!!

I Shouldn't!!!!!

Do this to myself. But I’m going to. I’m going to get excited about the possibility of maybe being PG. Although I have no symptoms to report, I’m stupidly excited about my chart…. You can find my link to my chart in my Link list over to the right.

I think, I’m hoping, I’m praying that yesterdays temp was a implant dip. Even though it was a small one….. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!!

I know I shouldn’t get so excited and even admit it. But it sure beats that “fluck I’m not PG feeling”. I’m so scared of the disappointment I’m setting myself up for. I’m going to fall hard, very hard. Please someone have one of those fireman trampolines/safety nets ready for me.

Hello Monday....

It’s been a hectic weekend. Filled with lots of emotions, cries, laughter and smiles. I’m just so thankful that I have good friends to share it all with. I’m glad we can be there for each other and have someone to lean on.

McK of course had a great weekend. She slept over at her Uncle Precious house on Friday night. Can you believe her and her Uncle stayed up till 1am watching South Park.. and other cartoons… But hello, I don’t think SP is appropriate for a 4 year old. LOL.

Then on Saturday we went to friends of ours that we haven’t seen in ages. It was nice catching up with them. It is great getting another opinion on what is going on in our lives. It was great getting an excited response about DH’s job interview today. McK got to play with her “boyfriend”. And they had a great time. It’s so nice that McK can speak Afrikaans so well, so now there are no language barriers between the two. So sweet.



Yesterday was a tough day. But I’m glad we got through it. There were things that needed to be said and a lot of emotions/feelings were opened up. Its always good to get things out there. That way everyone knows what we are all dealing with. You can’t keep heart ache to yourself. You need to share it. We don’t always have the answers, but we sure have a lot of love to give. I think we (DH and I) benefited a lot by our conversation yesterday with our close friends. I’m sure it was just as good for them to get their feelings out. I feel as if we are now on the same level. Well sort of. I can’t feel their heartache, but I can try to understand it.

I almost don't want to jinx it, but DH is going for a job interview today. PLEASE cross fingers and toes that he gets it!!!

Oh and we have just entered the 1ww :) Almost testing time!!!

Never thought it was possible

To feel such heart ache for women/couples that have lost their babies. I have a few blogs that I read every day. And even though the women don’t even know me, I still like to check up on how they are doing. I sit here crying with them, I sit here being angry with them. Even though I won’t ever feel the same heartache that they feel. I still get filled with such raw emotion. Especially when the loss of their babies started off with the long hard years of TTC them.

I think that is partly why I was so angry at yesterday’s blogger. How dare she condemn IVF, when she is popping out babies left right and center? How dare she. How can she be capable of judging and disgustingly try and justify her thoughts in the manner that she did. But I’m not going to talk about her today, she will be judged for actions. Not by me and not by any other person reading her blog. But by a higher power.

Today I’m also mourning two special dream babies that will never be here on earth. They belong to very special friends of ours. I get so sad when I think you two will only ever be a part of a dream. We all wanted you so badly, but not as bad as what your mommy and daddy wanted you. If I could change anything in the world, it would be to change fate and let you become a reality. I know you would have been loved unconditionally as all babies are, but you would have been extra special.

Alright then....

Freaking nut job…..

Deep breath in, deep breath out….

I’m attempting to make soup again. It’s on the stove as I type. I can’t remember if I posted my last attempt?? Well I kind of opened the pressure cooker before it cooled down and soup exploded all over the kitchen. I also added way too much pepper, and I didn’t know that DH also added pepper… So yes we had pepper soup, which was supposed to be chunky butternut/veggie soup. Lets hope I get it right today.

I think I’m starting to find my “at peace with TTC place”. Not going to comment too much right now. Because I’m not really sure how I feel 100%. But right now, I’m at peace. I think I might be getting off the high way and skip along the garden path instead…….

Shocking..........

I am absolutely shocked and disgusted that anyone could actually write something like this. Please click here.

I guess she has absolutely no understanding of the heart ache and pain of the infertile world out there. I’m so glad I don’t live in her little bubble.

I was in such a good mood this morning, but this just ticked me off!!!!! Sorry …..this really pissed me off beyond…..

Monday again....

Morning morning. I hope all my blog readers are doing well. And those in South Africa are at least keeping warm. My hands have only now just defrosted, and I’m able to type without any pain.

And for your viewing pleasure, I would like to show you my positive OPK that I got on Saturday.



So I’m either busy Oing as I type LOL (and you say why are you typing blogs when you should be jumping your DH…..) Or I’m freshly into the 2ww already. Which ever way, I haven’t prayed this much in a long time. I think when God sees me on the line, he thinks “Oh no, can’t she think of anything else to ask for??”

Oh BTW, I know a few of my clients read my blog. So this one is for you. Now I love bargains. And even more so if I’m getting HPTs and OPKs at good prices. Making Babies is running a special offer on the Midstream Tests.



One Step Midstream OPK and HPT Pack. You get 5 OPKs and 3 HPTs for R120.00
which includes Shipping. (Registered Mail). Check our website for full details.

Random thoughts....

Nothing much to report today. I started using the OPKs yesterday. At least I get my POAS urges covered mid cycle. I never thought I would enjoy P-ing in cups so much. I’ve become so good at it too. I think I could do it blind folded and not mess a drop!! Could make for an interesting video on You Tube.

On a more serious note, and I’m sure I have discussed this before…… It’s also taken me about an hour to write this. I’m not sure if I’m making any sense at all. Nothing flows and my train of thought is a bit screwed up, but there are just a few thoughts I would like to get out… here goes.

I would like to give my TTC friends that are hurting right now, a massive big hug. Although I know a hug doesn’t take the pain of yet another failed cycle away. If I could take the hurt and frustration away, believe me I would. I realized the other day, it doesn’t matter how long you have been TTC. We all feel the same pain. From the couples that have been trying for 4 months to those old timers of 28 months.

I must admit, I used to think (some days I still do) that because I’ve been trying longer than anyone I know that I have more of a right to be pissed off. That my pain is greater and more justified. But it isn’t. It’s the same. That dull ache that eats away at us. The dull ache that we soon learn to start covering up and pretend that everything is fine….. I’m quite good at that. I don’t think anyone but myself and my support groups know how low I can get.

Then I start to feel guilty about being so angry because I have friends that are going through failed IUI and IVF. I start feeling guilty because I already have a child. I start feeling guilty because I’m complaining so much, but yet our best friends can’t have any children of their own. I can imagine what they think when I start rambling on about how difficult this is for me. They are probably standing there wishing they could strangle me. Hell I would strangle me too!!!

I often get told, “I don’t know how you do it, stay so positive for so long”. Those people just don’t get to see that other side of me. The one that drags around for days with my heart aching so much. No body will ever really understand. And you know what, it’s ok. It’s ok that no one understands. But more importantly they stand beside me and pick me up when they don’t even know that they are saving me from drowning in self pity.

And that is AWESOME. To have friends that support my every effort to have another child. To have friends that cry with me, laugh with me, be so freaking optimistic when I’m feeling at my lowest. To those friends, thank you. You know who you are. I don’t need to single you out. Love you girls!!!

Oh and I haven’t told you yet. But I love my job. No I’m not talking about my real day job. I’m talking about my Making Babies Job. I knew there was a reason why I had to get so obsessed with TTC. I can’t explain to you how much I love helping people out with regards to TTC. I finally feel like I’m doing something worth while.

My horoscope today...

You haven't been easy to get along with lately, but that's all going to change now. Right now. You'll be charming, pleasant and eminently chatty.

Shame, even the Astrology World is tired of me being in a bad mood.

I realized yesterday, that I had taken my last Clomid pill. Most likely the last Clomid pill I will ever take. Since this is my last Clomid cycle before we start moving onto further treatment or surgery. I’m really glad to be done with Clomid, but at the same time I’m so anxious about what lies ahead. I really don’t want to go for the LAP. I’m scared to death of going under anesthesia. I’m scared of pain. I’m scared that they won’t find anything wrong, and I’ll still be in the 2nd unexplained infertility category.

All this could be avoided if I just got my BFP this cycle.

LOL

I just love this......

Hello beautiful day

Oh what a beautiful morning,
Oh what a beautiful day,
I've got a wonderful feeling,
Everything's going my way.

Just needed a change from yesterday’s vibe.

So it’s back on the happy band wagon. I’m hoping I can stay on it a little while longer. And not get so derailed again. It’s not fun at all.

Oh I still wanted to share this… but how do you know I’ve been TTC for way too long……

When I feel totally comfortable whipping out my used OPKs in front of strangers and explaining to them how the process of ovulation works… What…. they asked?? They were lucky enough that I had visual aids. I mean imagine explaining without actually showing. A little show and tell moment. I was very proud of my sticks. So what if I have been carrying them around in my handbag for 3 weeks. Yeah, I’ll take a “large” white jacket thanks….