3 May 2009

McKenna my Angel. You were loved before I even met you. From the minute I knew you existed, my heart knew.

Happy 5th Birthday my love. I thought I would name 5 wonderful things about you. Of course the list is about 20857629 long, but mommy had to choose only 5, otherwise blog readers would be sitting here for days reading!!!!

1) The way you giggle and laugh from every cell in your body.

2) You are in your element when either dancing or singing. And I’m so happy you inherited your dad’s rhythm and not mine!! LOL

3) When you scribble some letters on a piece of paper and tell me it says “I love you mommy” just makes my heart melt.

4) The way you roll your eyes when I ask you “who is the most beautiful girl in the world?”

5) When you walk yourself into school, and stand by the gate blowing kisses and shouting “have a lekker day mommy” without fail.

Ooooooh, do I have to stop at 5????? ;-)

I think I have shared some of these pics before, but since it’s my baby’s birthday I’m sure I can share them again……

Insert Tears Here........

It's the 1st of May 2009... Check my TTC ticker to the right.... It's been exactly 3 years since we started trying for our second baby.

3 YEARS

Am I stronger? Am I sadder? Am I angrier? Am I at peace? Am I over patient? Am I a mess? Am I ok? I'm not sure.

3 YEARS

I've never cried this much in 3 years than in my entire life. I've never cursed this much in 3 years than in my entire life. I've never prayed this much in 3 years than in my entire life.

3 YEARS

I've come across the most awesome bunch of ladies, and one awesome guy (couldn't leave Xbox out) that have kept my journey on the brighter side of insanity. My SOP girls, my 2ww girls, my Mommy girls and my Making Babies girls. Each one of you have meant so much to me in our TTC journey. Thank you for all your support and love. For picking me up when I was at my lowest. Much appreciated.

3 YEARS

It's ok.....

I seriously can NOT believe it's the last day of April 2009.....

I have 24 more days till my appt with the new Doc.....

Another 3 more days and my baby turns 5!!

Today is my good friend Harriet's Birthday!!! YAY, may you have an awesome day spent with gorgeous Aidan. I can't believe he has been here a month already.

It's another long weekend for us here in S.A. Tomorrow is another public holiday - Workers Day. I can't wait for all these public holidays to be over with, and I'm pretty sure there will be another one next week when they swear in the new President of our Country. Is that the right terminology?? When they swear in?? I don't know, hmmmm.... if I'm wrong please someone correct me.

Oh, my sister Jenna and I went out yesterday at lunch time. She runs a non profit charity and needed to go pick up some goodies for the women's home. We had to pick up the stuff at Lory Animal and Owl Sanctuary. WOW!!!! We knew there were Owls there, but we got the fright of our lives when we turned the corner and got greeted by a huge TIGER!! I have never been so close to a real live TIGER before. Hehe, Jen and I both grabbed each others hands and started walking away really slowly. As if we really thought the cat would jump the fence and attack us. Knowing my luck..... But anyway, after getting a little lost in the sanctuary we came across a beautiful Male Lion and some gorgeous Puma's and baby Puma's. Then another beautiful Tiger who was relaxing in his jacuzzi. Ok, more like his water hole but he looked like a Lord sitting in the middle with just his huge head sticking out. He just needed a cocktail and a cigar to make the scene perfect.

Anyway, I have 3 more days to pull off a last minute planned 5th Birthday Party. We weren't going to have a party for McK this year. But we've decided to go with a BBQ on Sunday. A High School Musical BBQ. McK has given us each a Character to play. LOL. I need to get cakes sorted, party packs packed and so forth.

We have been internetless since Friday. Not fun at all. Although the withdrawal symptoms weren't as bad as what I thought they would be. I might actually be able to go without the net again. Not too soon, but I think I might survive a weekend without it.

We are having a bit of bad luck lately. Our car broke!!! A couple $$$ later, and it's getting fixed at the garage as I type. Our kitchen sink/drain is blocked. Everything just sucks right now....

And I really want to be pregnant..... but sadly I don't think that is going to happen either.

Another 2ww.... the 39th one.....

I think it's pretty safe to say I'm in the 2ww now. Check my chart. I've changed to a new digital BBT thermometer. It measures in Fahrenheit. So it's been a challenge getting used to it and I have to stop myself from switching my FF chart to Degree C. My temps look so low when I do that, but in Fahrenheit it looks perfect!

I'm a little cautious to get too excited about this cycle, but it's the first one in a LONG TIME that our BDing has been timed this well. So it's hard not to be a little optimistic.

I have 29 days left before we see our new doctor. I'm starting to panic slightly. He better be awesome! I'm not going to accept another @sshole.

My PC or should I say internet is still giving me issues. I miss chatting to my SOP girls so much!! :( Me very unhappy, but I'm hoping it will get sorted out over the weekend.

Ovary Ping Pong

Usually I have one sided O pains. But these last 24 hours the cramps are switching from right to left and back again. I wonder which useless ovary will win the game. I'm of course hoping that there are at least a good number of audience members (a.k.a sperm) cheering on.

Nothing much to report on TTC wise. Just waiting waiting. What else does TTC consist of other than more waiting......

Update: Today's OPK

"There is a sense of exhilaration that comes from facing head-on the hard truths and saying, 'We will never give up. We will never capitulate. It might take a long time, but we will find a way to prevail.'"
– Jim Collins

Over the last few days I've found myself thinking about just giving up on TTC. Yeah I know I have a new doc appointment coming up and all that.... But just this past week, I've become very bored with this whole TTC thing. It just seems so pointless lately and not at all "fun".

But then yesterday while walking round the shops, I saw 2 little girls aged 3 and 4 my guess. They were both dressed the same (argh, I hate that... but that's my opinion) in green/white polka dot dresses. Both had blonde hair cut above the shoulders. McK and I happened to walk past them, and would you know my McK had the exact same dress on and same hairstyle. McK says to me, "look mommy we look like sisters." Yeah attack of the polka dot triplets. I say "yeah, you girls do, cute... lets walk.".... McK looks up at me and says "mommy we need to get me a sister so that I don't have to be alone any more."

Aai my girl, I'm trying..... I'm really trying..... but it's getting so hard lately.

Another McK moment, (had to update this entry today)

So my cousin's LO and McK are in the same class. Now T broke her arm and has a pretty pink cast on it. I went to pick McK up now from school, and the teacher had to share the following with me....

McK: "Maam, I also want a pink cast. How do I get one?"

Teacher: "You need to break your arm first in order to get one."

McK: "Maam, come help me please.... "

Teacher said she laughed so hard, and McK wasn't impressed because her Maam wouldn't help her break her arm.....