Wow, 30 September already. I hate that this year is coming to an end. It’s way too fast. There is still so much to do this year. I was supposed to be at least 8 month PG by now….. If everything went according to plan… Mind you if everything went according to plan. We could have had 3 babies by now already. LOL

It’s such a gorgeous day today, we shouldn’t be stuck in offices. We shouldn’t be working, we should be out playing and running around. Trying to be carefree. I think I need a good dose of “care free” in order to get myself out of this rut.

DH is running a golf day tomorrow. I’m still undecided whether to go with or not. My idea of being outside, it not to work. So if I do go with, I will end up working. Naah, we’ll see….

Anyone care for a TTC update… or should I say non TTC update… I have a friend, (you know who you are) that is optimistic for this cycle of ours. We are cycle buddies this time round. Girl, I’m hoping the supplements do the trick for you. I don’t mind giving you all my baby dust. I think you anyway got much more chance than what I do. I just can’t believe you are going to wait till 12dpo to test. That is insane!!!!!

Yesterday, I was quite touched by something another good friend said to me. He said “he was sad for us, that we hadn’t got our BFP yet”. You have no idea what that means to me. Just that one sentence. It’s one of the very view times that he has voiced his opinion about us TTC. Not going to go into details, but it really meant a lot to me.

I don't understand.....

Why when things start to go wrong, it gets a lot worse before it even starts to get better.

I’m so sad today. I spent most of the morning in tears, both silent and sobbing. It’s not fair. I didn’t do anything wrong, well at least I don’t think I did anything wrong. I’ve always been the one to support any decision made. I’ve fought the same wars as you. I am on your side. Yet today, I’m the one being ignored. I don’t like this. I hate it. I don’t need this right now in my life either. I don’t have the energy for it.

One good thing that happened today…. My cousin find out she is 5 weeks PG!!! I’m so thrilled for her and her hubby!! I just had this feeling when I saw her over the weekend, I even gave her a HPT. She said the lines came up within seconds!!! They have too been having problems with TTC, and the docs gave them IVF treatment as the only option to fall PG. They were just about to start the whole process, but just waiting around for AF. Ha ha, guess they won’t be seeing her for another good 10 months or so!

The good fortune fairy

I really need her to come pay us a visit. REALLY!!! We really need our luck to turn around. I guess it doesn’t really help to complain. Complaining doesn’t solve the problem. But please give us a break.

I feel like sitting in a corner and balling my eyes out. Why a corner, I don’t know. But maybe a hole is too much effort to dig out.

Today feels so weird. With yesterday’s public holiday, today feels like a Monday. I hate it. It’s so messed up. I keep having to remind myself that it is Thursday today. At least tomorrow is Friday. YAY, not that it makes a big difference really.

We are keeping McK at home this week. I think she might have German Measles. She started off with some spotting/rash on Tuesday. It hasn’t really cleared up. Neither has it gotten any worse. She also doesn’t have the classic symptoms of GM. So I’m not sure what is up with her, I know it’s been doing the rounds at school. Rather keep her home and rested I guess.

Other than that, nothing much going on.

I’m a tad sensitive to pregnant talk today too. I don’t want to hear about morning sickness or cravings or anything PG related…. It will be better tomorrow. No offense meant to anyone…. Today is just an “off day”. Guess we are allowed to have them.

Let me rather get going, I’m just rambling on…… bye…..


Oh, and remember the Spring Time Competition is closing tomorrow. Make sure you enter!!!

Another Monday!

I’ve been sitting here thinking about what to blog about today. I didn’t want to bore you with another star sign. So what else can I chat about??

I must say, I’m sure they (being the Government) are putting something in our water. Do you know how many BFPs there have been in the last 2 weeks here in South Africa? It’s amazing. Just about every second day I’m hearing the good news from online friends and clients.

I’m really rooting for one very important BFP. Annie, you girl… I still haven’t checked your chart. I’m too nervous. I don’t want to see anything but a BFP on there. I know…. But surely it isn’t too much to ask of you.

As far as our TTC project. Yeah, I’ve changed it from journey to project. Well I don’t really know. It’s sort of on hold, you know that whole not trying not preventing. I’m still taking all the supplements that I should be taking. You know, all part of Mission KU. I figured, I bought the stuff, I might as well drink it. So if it happens, it happens. I’m not too phased about it to be quite honest.

My life seems to be back on track again. I never want last week over again. What a nightmare, and no I decided I’m not going to dish the details. Rather be grateful I’m back to my normal self, than dwell on what happened.

On a side note:

Just a reminder that the Spring TTC competition closes on 26 September, so make sure you enter your poem before then.

You could stand the chance to win a HPT & OPK combo pack!

Plenty of Baby Dust!!

If you're not 'supposed' to do it, if you're not supposed to like it and most definitely if it's something you've been told to never, ever even think about -- well, you're probably on your way right now to giving it a shot. And you'll enjoy it, too.

Sounds exciting enough.... except I have no plans for the weekend. Maybe I'll be surprised!

I don't want anyone worrying about me, I'm ok..... I'll be ok......

Today is looking a little brighter. And I'm sure everything will sort itself out. It always does.

I’m going all Cryptic on you….

Life seems to be throwing me a curve ball(s) again. It happens often… It’s never the straight and narrow with me. It’s always one thing after the other.

They say God doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle. Well the big man up there must think I’m a freaking gladiator.

I can’t go airing everything here, yet….. I’m still trying to work it all out in my mind.

I often find myself coming to a fork in the road. I always chose to take the left path. I wonder when I will start realizing that maybe going to the right would be better?

The only thing that makes sense to me right now is to put TTC on hold for a bit. Maybe indefinitely. We’ll see…..

Is today any better?

Well sort of.

I hate fighting. I hate disappointment. I hate feeling negative and down. But it will blow over. It always does. I always come out breathing on the other side. This time is no different.

I watched Army Wives last night, (like I do every Monday night.) And there was a bible verse that was shown:

1 Corinthians 13:13
"Now abideth faith, hope, love,
but the greatest of these is love."

I guess at the end of the day, I always have faith and hope. But love always wins the fight.

He can be lucky I love him.

Life is not fair.......

It’s been a rough past 3 days for me personally.

But never mind the crap I’m having to put up with.

My good friend G, is having a D&C this morning. I’m so very upset for her and T. It’s not fair. To wait so long to have your beanie, and then have it taken away. I’m so mad with everything. We prayed so hard.

Why does TTC have to be so difficult. Why do the "16 year old drunk weed smoking girls" go on to have healthy pregnancies. I just don’t get it!!!!!!

Another friend of mine also lost their baby over the weekend. We were so excited on Friday. L, I know you are reading. I just want to say I’m so sorry you had to go through this. You are in my thoughts.

Why???

G had this beautiful poem as part of her sig, and I would like to share it here:

An angel held the book of life
wrote down your babies birth
whispered as she closed the book
too beautiful for earth...
Author - Unknown

Mission Impossible...

**yes, insert music sound track right about now**

I’ve got a new POA for cycle 31. A new secret mission to get us knocked up.

Unfortunately I’m not sharing any details.

All will be revealed when we get our BFP. Notice I said “when”….

Mission KU will start as soon as the witch arrives…….

The witch heard me, and she is nearing in for the kill....... circling circling.....

I swear I have a bulls eye painted on my uterus.....

So far.... so good...12dpo.... no spotting... but don't let the witch hear me....

I must say one thing that is annoying me about blogging so early in the morning, is that the date/time stamp is wrong!!!! Does anyone know if you can set it to your local time.... I just know this post is going to say Monday, but it's actually Tuesday already.

Good morning one and all…

I trust you all had a good weekend. Ours was just fab. Got some much needed rest and got McK’s room sorted out. You can now see the floor again and not trip over anything.

We are ignoring the BFN I got yesterday. Not talking about it.

Big NEWS!!! McK learnt how to blow her nose!! DH and I are so very proud. We have been trying to teach her to blow her nose for the last 2 years, and eventually on Saturday she did. I was sitting in the bath, she walked in. Took the toilet paper, folded it over and over and blew!! I promise you, I almost jumped out the bath to hug her. I called for DH and we all 3 gave “hi fives”. It was so cool. Kind of reminded me of the day when McK jumped for the first time. (yip, both feet off the ground). It’s the little things that make parenting so AWESOME!!

I’m getting quite excited for some of my TTCing friends. I really hope there are some BFPs soon.

That uncomfortable, edgy feeling you've been dealing with isn't going anywhere just yet -- not until you do something about it. It's time to figure out what's been keeping you up and pacing the floor at all hours. Face it, solve it and move on. You're ready. Now take aim and fire!

I hate that feeling. It usually means bad news. I've had it since last friday..... And it only got worse today, and even worse when I read my star sign..... aai....

I'm just looking out for that fan....

On Monday we learnt that an ex-colleague had passed away over the weekend. He was such a vibrant funny guy. I feel sad for his family that has to bear the pain of not having him around any more. I can see by his Face Book wall, that he was much loved by all his friends. May you rest in peace W.C!!

The bank flucked us over too this week. But DH is handling it. I’m not going to get into details, it just makes my blood boil.

McK was home from school yesterday. She cried bitterly yesterday morning while I was trying to dress her. Said she was feeling sick. I admit she has a bad cough and looks as if she might have some sinus issues. But I think she was ok to go to school. But 20 minutes of tears and pulling at heart strings made me keep her at home. The rule was that she had to stay on the couch watching TV/Movies the whole day. Because staying at home is NOT supposed to be fun. No running around with the dogs or playing outside. By last night she seemed much better.

Until this morning. Big crocodile tears again. Sobbing that she didn’t want to go to school. Now my child has been in school since she was 15 months old. She has never had a problem going to school. So after a few more tears and lip quivering, I convinced her to tell me what is going on…..

It seems the Grade 1’s are being mean to her. I think its harmless teasing from their side, but my poor child is heart broken and doesn’t want to go to school because of this. Eventually I convinced her that she needed to go to school and if the Gr 1’s start with her, she must go tell a teacher. I also gave her some vitamins, and told her it will make her big and strong. Then the Gr 1’s will be scared of her. She loved this. Kept flexing her muscles all the way to school. Oh, and I told her that she wasn’t 4 years old anymore, but rather 4.5 years old. Her face lit up, saying “I’m almost as big as those Gr 1’s”.

By the time we got to school, she was A-Ok. I didn’t even have to walk her in to her class. She kissed me at the gate and skipped in.

Now I will be honest with you. When I saw her crying this morning and telling me her story. The first thing that went through my mind was to march into that school and have her point out those nasty kids. I had images of burrowing their heads in the sand pit and giving them a good kick up the @ss. Don’t upset my child!!!!! But then realized that this is school. Kids tease each other. And they will pick on the little ones. I will draw the line if anyone physically hurts her. I will however just get DH to talk to the teacher tomorrow morning about it.

On the TTC front. Not much happening. 6dpo heading into the 1ww. Thinking about testing over the weekend. Trying not to stress too much. Hoping for a miracle. You know, the usual shit. :)

Spring is here...

Happy 1st September!! May Spring bring loads of BFPs!!

I decided to launch a competition on the "Making Babies Social Network".

Only members are allowed to enter, so if you haven't registered yet... please do so. :)