Ok, I have to share this.... thought it was ridiculously funny. So I was playing around on FF just now. Yes, ok so I already cracked yesterday so let me be. Anyway. I went and looked at the EDD(estimated due date)....... wait for it.........
1 April 2010.. Now that would be the best April's fools joke ever! Me get a BFP and the EDD is 1 April. What ever.....
For some reason I can not get the words in my mind down to paper (well in this case, PC screen – Word Document). I can see them swirling in my head but when I try to type them they don’t come out the way they should. It’s like I’m trying to speak but nothing wants to come out.
Today is just a day where my heart is in my throat. I read blogs of couples trying to conceive and I can feel their pain. I read blogs of families loosing their precious babies, and my heart aches because what if that was me? I read blogs of growing bellies, and smile but my heart still yearns to be writing the same words as them.
I want to shout from the roof tops but also whisper in someone’s ear…. The message I’m not quite sure. Hopefully it will come to me. I don’t know if it’s a message for me or for someone else? Or for all of us.
(No I have not been drinking – it’s still morning in my part of the world).
I'm missing something or someone. Argh, this is frustrating. Come on words, get out……
I was doing such a great job at ignoring my cycle. But then curiosity got the better of me and I stumbled across Fertility Friend. Fire Fox had already automatically entered my user name and password in. All I had to do was click on "LOGIN". I looked away from the screen, looked back. Thought about going for a walk to get my mind off it. But would you know my finger got stuck on the mouse and clicked. Darn it.
I stared at the screen, trying not to make sense of the numbers and dates in front of me. Then I saw on the top, FF has given you FREE VIP 5 day trail. Darn it. So I clicked further, added some stuff. Made up a possible O date (I don't really know when I Oed) And I can't even remember the one time we actually did BD this month. Yeah can you believe I just typed that last sentence? I'm guessing I'm about 5dpo (CD18 today). Had a quick peek to see when AF is due, on Pay Day. Darn it. I so didn't want to know.
Going to go try and crawl back under my non-TTC rock. Try to hum, maybe that will make me forget all the info I just read.
Oh and I'm still social networking, my latest quest is The Blog Frog
TheBlogFrog turns your blog into a social blog. TheBlogFrog is also a personal blog directory. It helps you find blogs by High School, College, Email, and more. TheBlogFrog can even suggest bloggers you probably know, just by looking at your blog.
I didn't think he would do it. I thought I would have to negotiate and plead. But DH actually stopped smoking 1 July 2009. (Now I can't be sure that he hasn't cheated but I would like to believe that he hasn't) He has also been taking his supplements like a good boy.
Must say McK and I still suffer under the mood swings that comes with giving up smoking. But it's all worth it. Our house doesn't smell like an astray any more. We are actually saving money by not having to buy a pack a day. Hopefully this will also help with his Sperm Health.
So here is to healthy sperm and Spring BFPs.
Please grant me the serenity
To accept things I can not change
Please give me the courage
To change those things I can
And please give me the wisdom
So I may recognize the difference.
I had this whole post idea in mind. But I think I’m going to save it for another day and rather leave you with the above mentioned prayer passage.
Oh on a side note. I had another run in with breast milk today. Not only fresh breast milk, but puked up breast milk. I’m handling it a lot better than my first run in a few weeks ago.
Now you ask, breast milk?, come on you have a daughter already? Aha, but I didn’t breast feed her. So I’ve never ever even touched my own breast milk, let a lone some strangers.
My mother always told us (when we were little) that watching too much TV would make our eyes go square. I wonder if this applies to the insane amount of time I've been spending in front of my PC lately?
I've been socializing. LOL, no not the get out there, meet new friends, see places, do things.... are you insane? That would require me leaving my office. I'm talking about getting social within the comfort of my little internet world.
I found the coolest network with fellow bloggers on! So awesome, it's going to take me days to check out the place. I feel like I'm in heaven. MORE BLOGS!!! Better than chocolate. (was going to say an ice cold beer, but that's stretching it a bit).
But my right ovary is aching! Usually I O from my left ovary, 9 out of 10 times I will O from my left. Please don't let my brain realize this, then she will go conspire with my heart and the next thing you know we are attempting to maybe hopefully miraculously conceive on a break cycle.
Every now and then I read through sites about conception. You know to just refresh my brain, find new articles to share with my Making Babies members and all that. I had to laugh when I saw this "advice tidbit":
Lot of factors involved to get pregnent, not only sperm count,or good morphology, even everything goes well but somehow sperm should go through Fallpen tube. Those who has low sperm count or bad mophology, my suggestion is that woman should reamin in bed at least half an hour after sex and do more sex during ovulation period.
I was going to fix up the spelling mistakes in the above quote but left it as is. I LOVE the do more sex during ovulation period. No shit Sherlock! Really you think? Ok, maybe I'm the only one that finds that very funny.
Oh BTW, I'm guest blogging on a friends blog some time today. I will let you know once the post is up and give you the link. :)
UPDATE: Click on the blog button to go read my dear friend Meg's blog
