My girls, you know who you are......

We have been through infertility's sorrow and pain. But together we have supported each other through this storm.

We have cried, laughed and sighed. We have cursed, thrown air punches and cracked.

We have danced around in circles and battled to see our keyboards through the tears.

We have shared our deepest secrets and fears. We know when something is wrong and together we can see the light at the end of our very dark tunnel.

No one will understand the connection, the relationship, the love and respect.

Although we are miles and miles apart, with just one click you are in my heart!!

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We will be back to the 3 column blog tomorrow. I clicked something and well the rest is history. I'm off to watch movies with my family :) good night all

Dads are special people!

Dads are special people
No home should be without,
For every family will agree
They're 'SO NICE TO HAVE ABOUT' -

They are a happy mixture
Of a 'SMALL BOY' and a 'MAN'
And they're very necessary
In every 'FAMILY PLAN'

Sometimes they're most demanding
And stern, and firm and tough
But underneath they're 'soft as silk'
For this is just a 'BLUFF'

But in any kind of trouble
Dad reaches out his hand.
And you can always count on him
To help and understand -

And while we do not praise Dad
as often as we should,
We love him and admire him,
And while that's understood,

It's only fair to emphasize
His importance and his worth -
For if there were no loving Dads
This would be a 'LOVELESS EARTH'.

~ Helen Steiner Rice ~

To my dad, McK's papa, the dads I know and those who will soon become daddies.... Happy Father's day!

x

It was weird. Very uncharted waters for me. I’ve always read about infertile women being hurt by friends/family keeping their pregnancies a secret from them in order to protect them. I understood why, I also understood why the infertile would sometimes be angry because the secret was kept more than the actual pregnancy.

I have very good friends who can not have their own biological children. Believe me the day I have to tell them “the good news” is going to be pure torture for me. But I’ve been told over and over again by them to please not keep it a secret or let them be the last ones to know. They aren’t sure what their reaction is going to be, they might cry, they might laugh, maybe both. But tell I will have to tell.

This week I was/am one of those situations. Where someone felt too bad to tell me that they were pregnant. I’ve never experienced such an emotion yet over my last 3 years of TTC. I immediately felt guilty because this person didn’t have the heart to tell me. She couldn’t share her wonderful excitement because she cared too much about my feelings. I felt so sad that I could make someone feel bad about telling me she was pregnant. 18 weeks (minus 4 that she didn’t know) is a long time.

But then I sat back and smiled. For the first time it felt like someone respected my infertility heartache. She understood, she got it! Yes I have plenty of friends and family that support me in my own journey. This was someone in the "real world" that got it. This was different.

I’m so excited for her and her DH. I know the long TTC journey they were on. I know the heartache she felt after every failed cycle. I know.

I can’t wait to meet the little boy!

Ps. I hate using the word infertile as a noun… like we infertiles… argh, makes us sound like we need to be quarantined. Well only if there are copious amounts of tequila and cheese nacho’s in our compound.

Maybe sorry.....

CD21 today, obviously since yesterday was CD20. That's a no brainer. LOL. I'm getting rather anxious. I really hope DH's SA results come through today. I need them. I need to see them before the doc sees them. I couldn't be bothered about my results, so I can wait till next week. One more week. I'm just hoping DH's work doesn't get all weird about him having to take time off to go to the appt. Some people just don't get infertility. (I had another paragraph written but decided to erase it, it describes exactly what I think of a certain person - replaced his title with the word work)

I We had a rough night. Between the thunder, DH's snoring, McK's teeth grinding and climbing into our bed 6x times during the night. You can only imagine how much sleep I we got. Of course when I complained to DH about the lack of sleep he insisted that he didn't sleep either. Hence the I. But I had to laugh at 5:30am. McK turns around and cuddles up to me. She says "mommy I'm maybe sorry." What do you mean Maybe sorry. "ummm, I let out a fart and it might stink". Got to love that child!

CD20 seems so weird....

To be CD20 and only possibly be 4dpo. Usually by CD20 I have this nagging urge to test because I'm 8dpo already and so hoping to be one of those lucky ones that get their BFP on 8dpo. Even if it is a faint squint and tilt to 45 degree angle line.

What will the next 10 days bring us of this particular 2ww. We should receive DH's SA results tomorrow or Friday. I keep looking out for the fax. Wish it was here already. Not that I can do anything with it. But I want to see if it's any worse or better than the last SA done in 2007.

Then it's the all important appointment on the 26th. I'm hoping that doc will send me for a LAP. Although I have a feeling we might go down the Clomid road again. So my appt will be right on time if we need to start any fertility treatment. 13dpo. Perfect timing for a change.

I know a lot of my mommy friends read my blog, so I thought I would show off the new Making Babies Directory Ad. Just click here to see it. Also browse through the site, there are a lot of great articles written by parents.

That's it from me. Oh those that couldn't make out what type of critter Gabriella is: She is a dwarf hamster. :)

McKenna's new BFF!!

This weekend started out with my brother, Uncle Precious, making the decision to buy McK a pet. Her first pet. I said nonsense man she does have pets. We have a tank full of Malawi Chiclids. Fish make great pets! I was laughed at.

Around the dinner table on Friday night, Uncle Precious and McK started talking and negotiating. Everything from snakes to tarantula's to kittens back to tarantula's. More talk of snakes. Imagine my eyes growing wider and wider. Luckily my girlie is a girlie girl. No snakes or spiders for her. Her eyes beamed at the thought of a kitten. I kicked my brother under the table. Gave him that glare of don't you freaking dare bring a cat into my house. (I'm not a cat person or a dog person, it's ok to have them I just don't want them. We are fish people.)

Saturday afternoon Uncle Precious came home with this cute little critter. Her name is Gabriella. Yes after High School Musical. Do you really think McK would have called her anything else? Gabby went to the shops with us. Went visiting Grandma and Grandpa's house. Went jacuzzing at Mathi and Hanlie's place (ok she didn't get in but was in close proximity to the jacuzzi).

I tried to get a pic of little Miss G. But she doesn't stay still. All pics are blurred so here is a google image of her. Introducing the newest member to the Murray household: (they all look pretty much the same anyway, so if I didn't say anything you would have thought it was her anyway LOL)



I wonder if she's ok at home. McK wanted to bring her with to the office today, but I decided that she needed to stay at home rather. I think they are safer in their cages where they belong and not gallivanting all over the place.

Changes (yeah how original)

Just to let everyone know we are busy making "small" changes on the Making Babies site. You might have noticed a new "look" but I couldn't get my heart around it, so I reverted back to the pink one.

You will see when you first go in it will take you to a "Welcome Page". Where you can then chose to either enter the MB site, or you scroll down to Making Babies Social Network and obviously if you are already a member you just click on the "Login" button. If you aren't yet a member of this awesome group of supporters please click on the "register" button.

There are still a few bugs that need to be sorted out, (we are working on them) like when clicking on "home" it takes you back to the Welcome Page. Busy trying to sort that out. But since it's my "assistants" Birthday today I thought I would give him a break.

Anyway, I hope you all have a great weekend!! Take care of yourself and those around you. I know some of you are having a 4 day weekend. Lucky buggers!

Did anyone notice my chart? We didn't miss O. LOL. But I'm still treating this cycle as a break one. Stop sniggering. I won't fall prey to the evil 2ww. I won't fall prey to HPTs. NO I WON'T!!

;-)